Growing up I remember detesting the few times when I would have to stay in and help my mom wash dishes, instead of joining my dad and brothers cutting wood or other forms of outdoor work. It wasn’t that I didn’t enjoy washing dishes. Somehow with the dishes of six younger siblings I still didn’t despise them. In fact, I always enjoyed my mom’s company as we got the job done together, often listening to our favourite Johnny Reid or Keith Urban CD. However, I knew it was the THING to dislike these SEXIST separations. Woman always had to work INSIDE while men did the dirty work OUTSIDE.
I told people that when I grew up, I would be an Olympic hockey player just to hear their ‘oh that’s not a very girly life goal…’ reaction. So many people said it was silly and not something a woman would want to do… therefore I told them all the more that I would accomplish it. However, all along, just longing to be a wife and a mother raising a whole flock of sweet children up for Jesus.
I watched my mom in awe as she calmly homeschooled, cooked, cleaned, grew a garden, birthed baby after baby and cherished each one of us. She was everything I wanted to become. However, I always shied away from telling people that was my life goal, in fear of getting remarks like ‘that’s all you want to do?’ ‘You could be more.’ ‘What about going to school and having a career?’
I couldn’t even count how many times my mom would be pushing a cart through a grocery store with all of us hanging off and around it and someone would come up to her and ask if we were all her kids. When she would reply with a proud ‘YES’ she would get remarks with a look of distain about what a burden they must be and how consumed her life must be with them. It was very rare to hear children talked about as a BLESSING.
The culture simply pours out from every angle that being a wife and a mother staying in your own home and raising children, instead of having a career is settling for the lowest. Or these days you AT LEAST must be bringing in some sort of income from your home, whether you sell products or live as a social influencer making vlogs, you must have a business to fulfill your identity. It is no longer viewed as a fulfilling thing to be a mom raising kids at home while your husband lovingly leads and provides for the family.
As Voddie Bauchum puts it “we are raising men with the ability to birth children”…. meaning girls are no longer being raised and taught how to be a wife and mama but more often the focus is on what their career will be and what university they need to attend to have that career and provide well for themselves. Nancy Demoss Wolgemuth explains it well her book LIES WOMAN BELIVE:
In our world’s socially engineered utopia, men and woman should split work, financial, home, and child-care responsibilities equally- fifty-fifty. When it comes to roles and responsibilities, there out to be no differences between the sexes. Christian woman are not unaffected by this blaring cultural message. The Christian community rightly challenges men to love their wives and children and to express that love through sacrifice and service. However, in the midst of this emphasis, we need to be careful that we don’t swallow culture’s ideas about gender and lose sight of the gender-specific roles God has given us to fulfill.
Being a loving wife, helper and supporter to your husband is a beautiful thing, and it is the design God created.
Then the Lord God said “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him. Genesis 2:18
We were literally made to be his helper. Now the word used for helper in scripture is ezer. Which means so much more then someone who quickly picks up socks after her man and cooks his bacon and eggs in the morning, but it suggests more an indispensable partner. More often in scripture its used to reference God’s relationship to US.
Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our HELP and our shield.
Psalm 33:20
For He delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper.
Psalm 72:12
How beautiful is that?
The bible teaches that God created woman with a distinct responsibility regarding the home. Scripture encourages young woman to “manage the ways (affairs) of her household” prov. 7:11 And “working at home” is on the bibles top-ten list of important things that older woman need to teach younger ones. Titus 2:4-5
-lies woman believe-
As a little girl I bought into the lies that culture was spewing… but now I’ve come to realize the absolute BEAUTY in biblical womanhood and what God designed it too look like. We are to be a reflection of God’s beautiful loving and nurturing character. We are to be dressed modestly so one who looks upon us isn’t distracted from God by our wardrobe but is rather pointed to him by the character He has created in us.
A verse that hits me when I’m tempted to buy that skirt that’s a tad short or dress that’s a little low cut is: like a gold ring in a pigs snout is a beautiful woman without discretion. Proverbs 11:22
YIKES… that doesn’t sound pretty. Many verses beautifully state that woman should be modestly dressed and have their adorning be from within. It is a tough goal, but one I think we should all shoot for together and be the examples of Godly women our teenage generation needs to see before them.
Selfless women of God lovingly serving others above themselves and letting the reflection of Christ shine through them.
If you and I focus on what we “deserve”, on our “rights” or on what our spouses (or others) “ought” to do for us, we will become vulnerable to hurt and resentment when our expectations are not met. Blessing and joy are the fruit of seeking to be a giver rather then a taker, or looking for ways to fulfill our God-given responsibility and to come alongside our husbands and to bless and serve them, our children and others. -lies woman believe-
(Can you tell what book I’m reading these days… its just so you good you should really read it if you can!)
We should be proud to be a wife and mama raising our children in TRUTH and equipping them to stand firm in this world.
We are never more like Jesus then when we are serving. In the kingdom of God, true greatness in demonstrated by a person’s willingness to set aside his or her personal interests, put others first, and serve. -lies woman believe-
If you want to hear this explained better then I ever could, give this video a listen while you wash some dishes or make supper for your family!